Day Eighteen: Peace

Last night I was up, well all night long. I was thinking of all the things I wanted my children and husband to know if something were ever to suddenly happen to me. I was overwhelmed with how much I still want to accomplish here in this life. And I realized something.

It is so easy to focus on your weaknesses and sell yourself short. You allow what you are weak at to define yourself instead of your strengths. I am so guilty of this. For years I have always put my own weaknesses out in the open so that anyone I came in contact with would feel superior. I have trained myself to do it. I have become my own punch-line. And it may be funny in the moment, or it may make others feel comfortable. But what ends up happening is that I SELL MYSELF SHORT.

So as I was pondering last night, and thinking of what I can accomplish, what I want to accomplish and realizing the many talents I have... I AM DONE COMPLAINING. Because I have the power and the time right now to do whatever my heart desires. I am so talented and powerful in my own right. So no more feeling sorry for myself or for allowing my weaknesses to excuse my poor moods and EEYORE LIKE ATTITUDE! I am finished.

I am starting a preschool in my home. Yes I am educated in it, and it has been something that I have dreamt of doing for a long time. I am great at it. I am talented at it, and I know that I can succeed. I am bursting with excitement in this new endeavor. The other step I always wanted to take was to write, and what I have failed to realize is that I am writing, right at this very moment!! Someday I would love to publish something. But for now I am going to keep writing.

You see sometimes because I have been down about myself and my weight I have allowed myself into thinking that I don't deserve the desires in my heart. That the goals I want to obtain have to be put on hold because I cannot overcome. But what I am realizing is that I have a loving Heavenly Father who has blessed me with so many abilities and strengths and through them I can find happiness. He desires for me to be happy. He desires for me to utilize the gifts and talents. And the weaknesses I possess are only there to become strengths, to increase my faith, hope and courage. There is so much to live for. So much to hope for. And I can accomplish so much good!

Today, I am at peace with me.