Days 67-70

So it has been a few days, and they have been very busy. One thing after another! But it is the Christmas Season. I didn't work out as many days this week as I wanted to, time was difficult to find, but I did what I could.

The Lord has been good to me and blessed me in this endeavor. I am grateful for that. I am grateful for the knowledge and experience that he has given me. I am grateful for the opportunity I have to learn more about myself, my place, and my responsibility in this world. I am grateful for this experience which has required me to rely upon the gift of the Holy Ghost, to direct my paths, to inspire, and to answer. I have thirty days left and it is amazing how quickly the time has gone. It seems like I just started this process yesterday. I am also amazed at how much I am learning, how much has changed. I think the biggest change has been my desire to want something better for myself. Before this journey, when stressed, frustrated, angry, hurt, etc., I would eat, and eat a lot. Today, I choose to exercise, read, or just find something relaxing to do. I have not gone to food. That is a blessing. My heart yearns to be healthy, to workout and eat right. I am grateful for that yearning because it is pushing me to do the work.

Reading the Book of Mormon during this process has helped me realize my own weaknesses, and especially my lack of gratitude. When we become blessed and are prosperous, we forget where it comes from. Through this process my desire to never forget has increased. I cannot deny the Lord's hand in my life, or the blessings I receive. I know that all that I have is from His generosity. I know that I am becoming the person I am through His willingness for me to become a better person and work on my weaknesses. I am grateful for His mercy which has been extended to me. I am grateful for the atonement which allows me to repent and try again. I am grateful for His life, His birth, this time of year which brings me back to a better remembrance of His love for me. I wish the world knew what I know. I wish they could feel what I feel. Think of the peace that would surround us. Think of what we could accomplish if we forsake our own desires to follow His. He lives and I testify to that. He lives.