Day 21

This morning, I am a little more at ease than I was last night. Last night I was feeling like such a failure. I didn't do anything wrong as far as eating or working out, it was just the emotions. There is so much anger that I am feeling and I am angry with myself for allowing myself to get to this point. I am angry with the choices I made in the past. I am angry that I cannot overcome every temptation that comes my way. I am angry to see others enjoying their Double Cheeseburgers while I eat more chicken. I am angry that I feel so lazy. I am angry that I am not seeing the results as quickly as I want. I am angry that time isn't moving faster. I am angry that I can't seem to find balance in my life. I am angry that I have uncompleted goals.

There is so much that I want to do and I feel like I need to accomplish it all right now and I can't seem to sort through it all to really know which step to take. It is so overwhelming.

Last night I laid in bed exhausted. Exhausted from the strain I had felt all day. I don't know where it came from, but I was frustrated feeling that way. I am a little more calm about it today, but those emotions are still floating restlessly in my mind waiting for some kind of conclusion.

I know it will get better, I know that this is something I have to sort through and ponder. I know I am not alone in this endeavor. I know that there is someone who knows precisely how I feel and it is Him that I lean upon.