Day 19

Wow it has almost been twenty days, and nearly a habit! Yesterday I shared a doughnut with Nathan, and couldn't believe the sugar headache I got. I will take it. It seems weird to think that just a few weeks ago I could have had six or more doughnuts and no headache! I do not want to go back to that! It is just one of the many moments that have reminded me of what I want and where I am going. And it is uplifting.

It is amazing how the body adapts fairly quickly to what you are doing. And I think that it is amazing. I mean look at it this way. A smoker and reverse some of his/her lungs problems by simply quitting. My granddad was a smoker for years and then quit. He is 92, it seems like such a contradiction. But he has been blessed.

One thing I have noticed, I now know what the feeling full feels like. For so long I pushed past that feeling packing in more food, for who knows why! It seems so weird just to stop. But it feels nice not to go to bed with heartburn, or an upset stomach. I even sleep better, when I get sleep. I am not as restless and I can fall into a deeper sleep a lot more quickly. Before it took me forever to fall asleep no matter how tired I was. Now if I am tired, my eyes close and I am out!

This may sound cheesy or too good to be true, but that is me. I cannot discount the blessings I am receiving. I cannot deny the changes that are happening. If I did, that would be ungrateful and I wouldn't be as successful. Even if my successes are small and may seem inconsequential, they are monumental to me. Because for the first time in a long time I control food, and food no longer controls me.

Have you ever laid in bed in the middle of the night thinking about all the food you are going to eat the next day. Dreaming about the doughnuts or Burger King for breakfast. Or maybe you will just have cereal and get the double cheeseburger meal and MCD's. Oh and dinner what could possibly be made for dinner, why not go out? You are too tired to cook.

That was my thought process in the middle of the night. It was pathetic!! I am not dreaming or thinking, or planning my next meal. If I am hungry I eat. I don't stress about having to eat all the time to feel so completely and utterly full. I eat when I am hungry, food to sustain me.

I don't know if I said it before, but I am amazed at how much more food you can actually eat when you are eating right. If you do start being conscious of calories you find you can eat a lot more food. For example: Little debbie brownies 280 cal. for two brownies. I can get a pasta with fresh veggies and chicken for 160 cal. and it is more food.

I guess it comes down to choices. I am not trying to preach, I am just trying to share my experience as my eyes are opened and my understanding is expanded. For so long I thought I would go hungry being on a diet, that I had to starve and really feel withdrawn from food. But I don't. And I am learning something new each day. I am grateful for that.