Today is a good day!

I am so grateful I put my emotions out there!   One reason being,  I am not holding them in any longer!!   I also discovered something this weekend which I needed to realize and change my thinking.  

Saturday night I had a dream that we were visiting family in St. George.  It was our last day and we were packing up getting ready to leave.   I was loading the last few items in the car,  and getting frustrated because the rest of my family had already left on their return trip home and I was still waiting to go.   I waited over 7 hours, and the whole time I am thinking about having to teach sharing time, getting kids ready for church the following day, and starting to stress.   I walked in to the room we were staying in and Garrett was painting.   I was all upset telling him he didn't need to worry about things like that.  And then I told him I was leaving in 5 minutes with or without him.   Then I woke up with a start.

I was terrified that he wouldn't come.   So I laid in bed thinking about this dream and wondering what I was so worried about, and it came to me.   I am afraid that if I express  or show my needs, and that will not be met.  That I will lose those I care about.    I think I have trained myself to think that my needs are not as important as everyone else's and to ask for something would show selfishness.    Now in my realization, I know I have every right to request help, especially from those I love most.  They are my support system and if I don't ask they won't help.  And I know that because they love me, they will help me.   Silly fear, I know, but I am grateful that I realized what I was doing.

On another note,  I love feeling sore!!   To me it means progress!  And I love progress.   I was down one pound, but I am going to weigh myself again on Tuesday, because that is the official weigh in day!  

I know that Heavenly Father is blessing me right now, because if it were left to me, I would be eating doughnuts, wishing my dreams away.   I had to take the first step, and I have to pray often, otherwise I know I will falter.   One day at a time, that is what I keep telling myself.