Molding Me

I have been thinking a lot about my avoidance and struggle with just eating right and exercise. The past week and this week I have fought to push away to desire to do better. I have ignored the prodding and the poking. And I have caught myself wondering why.

I find myself thinking,

"Why do I have to lose weight, or manage my eating habits?"

"Can I not have a different trial?"

"There are many people, heavier than I am, why am I so concerned?"

"Is it worth all this effort?"

Now I could release myself from the stress of improving, changing, and working towards something very easily. And to some of you it may seem that I am, in a small way, giving in. But I am learning that I want more. I want to learn more. If I give in, I am kind of like a catepillar in a cocoon, content to lie and die in the cocoon failing to recognize that person I can become when I finally emerge.

What makes us so afraid to work towards something. Why do we push away from the most important challenges in our lives and become satisfied with mediocrity. Why do we let go, give in, and check out when we know, deep down know, that we are so much better than what we are choosing to do?

Any champion, any hero, or anyone we truly admire, has pushed through the cocoon. They have gone through the refiner's fire. They have charged forward with courage, faith, hope and optimism when it would have been easier to shrink back and hide. We admire them because they didn't shrink, they acted. They moved boldly forward, knowing that in doing so, their lives would benefit, improve, heal, and save others.

So why is it that we are content, I am content, to be a bystander cheering them on, when I can be a hero too? Why do I fear my own abilities, progression, divine nature? Because it is easier, or so I am told. But the nagging feeling I have in trying to justify my inability to choose wisely, tells me, I AM WORTH SO MUCH MORE.

So I start with prayer, I follow in faith, and I rely upon a higher power to lead me. My advice to you, decide. Are you content with the stagnation of your life? Are content being who you are? Or do you want to be so much more?

I believe that the greatest parts of me have come from the struggles and challenges I have faced. I believe there is so much more to me, than I am allowing to burst through. I am ready to find myself, my capabilities, my strengths. And I am SOO ready to rid myself of the weaknesses I have. Maintaining mediocrity is tiring, it takes a lot of effort to justify, to excuse, to blame, and to ignore my soul's pleading. I am ready to be free!