Sometimes, I think we expect to have weight losses, like the biggest loser, but in reality, if you are losing one to two pounds a week, you are more likely to keep it off in the long run. The saying is SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE! So I am pleased with my one pound loss.
I have been thinking lately about how I am struggling to get back on track. And in all honesty I know why. It is because I have failed to pray about it. I have failed to ask for help. And I have honestly felt that missing link. I have determination, I have the will, I have the strength and I have the power, but I am weak. When I pray, I am using the atonement. I am allowing the Savior to succor me. I cannot do this alone. I am truly learning that, but more importantly I am learning that I do not have to do this alone. I WAS NEVER MEANT TO.
When I think about that I cannot help but think of the love my Savior has for me and I am completely overwhelmed. I know without a doubt that He wants me to succeed. I think sometimes we fail to look at that. We fail to see that the desire for our Heavenly Father and His Son, is for us to return, but not only to return, to find happiness in this life. If we depended upon them more, I think that our darkest moments, would become our more rewarding moments. Our challenges, would become our greatest joys. Our lives would seem more whole. The happiness I speak of isn't the kind that is selfish, meaning do what you want, no matter the consequences. Happiness comes from striving to improve, choose the right, keeping commandments, and allowing God to work through you.
My happiest moments are when I have turned my life over to the Lord. Meaning, I give up the control. I stop trying to create something that isn't there and allow the Lord to create it instead. For example: I spent five years wanting another child, I was solely focused on it. I spent my time worrying and wondering why I couldn't become pregnant. I felt that the Lord had forsaken me. This wasn't in the plan that I had. My life during this time wasn't going the way I wanted it to go. Finally two years ago this June, I knelt in prayer, and gave up. I stopped fighting, I said in prayer, "I will do Thy will. I cannot do this anymore, if it is Thy will for me not to have anymore children then I will be okay." A week later I found out that I was pregnant.
What have I learned? I have learned that sometimes the thing we are fighting the most is usually what we are missing out on. I think about those five years and wonder how my time could have been spent better. I think about the challenges I face now, and look at them as a opportunity to show gratitude, faith, and hope. I have learned that the Lord has a better plan for me than I could plan for myself. And in His plan, I still get to be who I want to be, accomplish what I want to accomplish, and I receive far more than I could bargain for.
So how does this fit in with me wanting to lose weight? Well in all honesty, this is something that I know I have been asked to do. I feel I strong need and desire to get healthy. My heart tells me that this process is to help prepare me for what is coming, and that my health is an important part of it. I don't know what the future will bring, but I have to follow the guidance of the Holy Ghost. I have to trust in it. I hope that I don't waste the time I am given, but rather utilize it. I know that there have been moments that have been ill used, but I think it is part of the process. Wasting time in this sense means, ignoring the prodding. Dulling my senses so that I don't care when I need to care. Avoiding what needs to be done. That is what wasting time means. I will fall short, no I am not setting myself up for failure, but rather recognizing that I can only do so much and then it is the Lord who covers the difference. As long as I am striving, desiring, and conscious of what I need to do, then I am not wasting my time.
So my challenge reader: What is your heart prodding you to do? What are you fearful of doing? What do you hold yourself back upon. Maybe, just maybe you are holding yourself back upon your own greatness. Move ahead, forge forward, and work, work, work. Pretty soon you will look back and be amazed at who you are, what has become, and how you have been blessed to do it! AND DON'T FORGET TO PRAY!! (That part is mainly for me :)!)
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