148 More Days to Go!

So I have avoided writing, not deliberately, but all the same avoided. My scale works sporadically, but I have gained a pound this week, and deservingly so. I did not eat well. Having good food choices on hand is becoming extremely important with the hectic schedule we have had lately. I have also had a hard time fitting in the workouts as well as I would like. Last week I worked out only twice, this week my goal is to workout as often as I should (rest on Wednesdays and Sundays still). My desire hasn't changed but I am noticing that with new distractions, my motivation has changed. I need to retrain my mind that I want those 40 some pounds to come off more than I want those Oreos or Coke, or In and Out. It is definitely about choices, and I am learning I need to educate myself more about food, what food are good and why. I need to discover a love for vegetables, yes I eat them when I am served them, but I don't go out of my way to add them to my diet. And I am determined to find a way.

I need to stop letting food scare me. The new tastes, the fear of new tastes and the fear of hating what I have to eat in order to lose weight. It is definitely all a mind game. But I am realizing that even though this is a weakness, I am adding strength through knowledge. I am starting to feel power to overcome, and I can and WILL! Fear is a motivator, it sucks the ambition, the hope, the power, and leaves you with your weakness. I am striving to replace that fear with courage, hope, desire, and good old hard work.

I am still a firm believer that for me there is no easy way out. I got here on my own and luckily with the help of the Savior I can climb back out. The easy way out would rob me of the opportunity to learn, to sacrifice, and to strengthen myself. I would rob myself of the opportunity to discover what I am really like, what I am really capable of. And it is the hope of that discovery that drives me through this process.

Yes, there are setbacks, and shortcomings, but I haven't given up. I am striving to correct the mistakes and move forward, with wisdom and strength as my shield.