139 days to go!

Well I have hit the slump. It seems lately I have been struggling to find that balance again, and not matter what I do, I can't. I have been emotionally eating, yep and had some Coke to go with it. I worked out once this week. Between the many responsibilities of being a mom and then helping my husband with his business, rooting him on at basketball games, I have stretched myself too thin, figuratively :) I wish it worked in the real sense! I am so overwhelmed and each morning it seems as if the TO Do list gets a little longer. I am trying to find the start button, but honestly want a pause button to push. And unfortunately I have pushed the pause button, hence the reason things seem to be piling up.

I think the hardest part of life is finding that right balance. And of course when you do, you are thrown another test that tosses you off balance again. So I am trying to take this as a learning experience, but right now it seems as if there are too many things for me to learn and I do not know where to begin.

Another insight to myself: I HATE ASKING FOR HELP. I know there are many people out there who would jump at the chance. I know I have many wonderful friends and family that would drop and run. But for me asking for help is a pride thing. I want to be able to do this on my own. I feel as if asking for help is revealing some major weakness. When I know that truly help in any form is always the answer. I know KNOW, that I cannot do this on my own. I know that I am surrounded with people who are there to help me through. YET, here I sit fearful of admitting that I need help.

But this is two fold too. I know that I can do this. I know that if I knelt down and prayer more fervently for the help I am needing, I would receive it. I know that I also can accomplish that nasty TO DO list through prayer too. Yet I wonder why is it that we fight that prompting? Why is it that we allow pride to rule our hearts and keep us from doing the one thing we know we need to do. Why do we avoid faith and hope? Why do I?

I do know that we were never meant to go through this alone. That is why we have family, friends, and most importantly a Savior. And I know that He understands me and my situation far better than I do. I know that He sees the big picture and can inch me along until I can look back and have that AH-HA! moment.

I need to be better at trusting in that knowledge.

Sorry for ranting, just one of those days. But I am optimistic! I can overcome, I can climb back on that horse, and achieve my goal. You see, I haven't given up, I just let go of the rope and slid a little, but I am still hanging on!