Days 52 and 53

The days are coming faster than I can keep up! I have been sick so the challenge has raised. I so badly want to eat crappy because I feel crappy!! I want a double cheeseburger, fries and a huge Coke. But like my husband says, "The Jillian in you won't let me!" I haven't eaten the best, but I haven't had the cheeseburger!! I know if I eat that cheeseburger the challenge will be out the window. So I am striving my best to do what I can right now. My workouts haven't really happened, but I am trying to stay in motion. On top of me being sick, I have had a sick hubby and two kids sick too. Hopefully by tonight I will be getting my energy back so tomorrow I can workout. I am missing them!

I was reading up on weight loss, and since I am still breastfeeding I wanted to make sure that I was safe. I found out that while breastfeeding only a pound a week is safe to lose. So I am feeling better about that, knowing that I am trying to stay within that range.

Will I meet my goal? There are days, when there are Naysayers all around me, wishing for my failure. Let them wish, if I don't meet the sixty pounds, I am okay with that. Why?

Because this is a lifestyle change. This is making myself a better person. This is me striving to become better than I was yesterday. And each day is an opportunity for shedding the weaknesses that I have been dealing with. This is also an opportunity for me to love myself, and I need this opportunity. I am not doing it to be selfish, but to be balanced. It is not healthy to ignore my needs, look at where it has gotten me.

Reading in the Book of Mormon has been so helpful. It reminds me of how aware God is of me. How much he wants me to succeed. It also helps me find my place in the world I live. I belong, and right now my place is to testify of His existence and love for each of us. Just imagine if each person knew of that love, truly knew. What could be accomplished? I love the scriptures. I love the lessons, the principles, and the message. It is that love that pushes my desire to be better, to shed the weaknesses that I have. To prove that I want to return to my Heavenly Father's presence. Because that is the end goal.

Have a great day readers. Whoever does read this!! Remember improvement is but a step towards becoming more like God.