Day 60

Today I am having a, "I can't do it." kind of day. I don't want to work out, I want to lay in bed. I cannot clean my house. I am not a good mother. Pity Party over here! I know a lot of my emotion is coming from being completely and utterly exhausted. Oh how I wish I could get 3 hours of sleep at least in one block of time. I know there are many moms that feel this way, and say, "Oh yeah, well try this..." I know there is someone that can one up me on all my worries. But this is my life, my experiences, and right now I feel weak.

I want so badly to do it all. Be it all. And right now, I am burdened with emotion, and frustration, and anger, and exhaustion. I just can't. I hate days like these, when I see my own weaknesses and have to fight them off. When I do not feel up to par. I don't feel worthless, but I don't feel like I am enough.

There is this me that wants to burst through and shine forth, but can't seem to break the barrier. There is this person, who is healthy, energetic, and exciting, that is stuck in a slow, monotonous, tired, and worn shell. I want the me but it has hit a wall, and SMACK has fallen back.

I do not like days like today. Tomorrow will be better.

Just a new add in: I did do my workout! I did eat good! I did take care of my children and husband!!