Day 44

I decided to make my routines more challenging and my butt is getting kicked! But I needed to increase the intensity because what I was doing was becoming to comfortable. I still need to go buy some weights so that I can increase my weights, because right now I am not getting enough resistance, which in turn isn't giving me much change in my arms.

Thanksgiving is Thursday, and I need to make a goal to eat well now, so that I don't falter then. My goal is to eat within the bounds I have set, which is proper portions. To have only one slice of pie. And to make sure I stay active and moving.

It seems like I am an onion lately. Every day when I start my workouts, I am feeling great, rejuvenated, and excited for what I can do. Then there is another part that seems to peel away. It is hard to describe. I feel like I am leaving layers of the person I don't want to be and starting to see the person I am becoming. It gets overwhelming, and there are times I just start breaking down, and I am not entirely sure of the reason, other than I am changing, confronting the hurt and letting go. A part of me thought that through this process I was going to have to explain every emotion that I faced, but what I am realizing is, I am letting it go, leaving it behind and moving forward, there is no more confronting. There is no need to explain, I survived what I went through, I am moving forward and I can now only look forward. So I guess if you were expecting to read more of my pity party moments, like I was. I apologize, because the pity party is over. And the celebration of me is beginning.