Day 9

Today is going much better than I expected. It is only 1:30 but most of what I needed to accomplish has been accomplished. I am starting to feel the surge of energy that for far too long I have been lacking. It is rejuvenating to breath it in. I am still weak when it comes to working out and I am pushing myself as hard as I can, but I do feel a great deal stronger than I did with the first workout. It is motivating to feel this way. It really helps with my optimism.

I was wondering this morning, why are women so emotional? I am not trying to complain, but when it comes to this process I find myself experience every emotion. Maybe I am still trying to get my body to balance out. It would be nice some days to be able to make a decision and not second guess it, or feel guilty. On the other hand, I love to feel. There was a time while I was taking courses at the university where I didn't feel and I hated not being able to feel the emotions surge through me. I guess I just need to be patient, and it will all come.

I couldn't help thinking about our nation. Sometimes I wonder why so many of us have forgotten our roots. Schools rarely teach about the rich history our nation has, and rarely expect the students to honor and respect it. This nation was a gift from God. And when we misuse the gift we risk losing it. It is such a blessing to live here. It is a blessing to have so many men that gave their lives for our freedom, throughout its history.

I guess you could parallel the nation with my body. It is a gift from God and I have misused it, and I am now paying the price for it. I find myself reminiscing over what it was like. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to show my gratitude for caring for it as I should. I want to be in a state of health that I no longer have to reminisce but can enjoy.