I met my wall!

So if you have been following my blog, or reading up on it, you will see the numerous times I have come to my wall and didn't know what to do.  Looking back over the years I have seen where this wall has come and I meet it and am stuck.   I did not know how to break it down, or what exactly was holding it up.   I knew some of the roots of the issue, but never the source.

Well today I am grateful and humbled to say I met the wall again, I was able to find the source, something that completely shocked me, yet brought all the clarity I needed to move on.  So I spent a few emotional days coming to terms with it and am ready to move forward.   Although I am not ready to openly share everything, I will share a few details.

We all have our problems/trials in life, and this one was definitely one I thought I had faced.  How we choose to face those trials determines how we move forward in the future.  We always have a choice, it doesn't mean the trial will go away, but it can be eased. Be accountable, be humble and willing to listen to  for advice, ask for help, and hold yourself responsible for the choices you made, and will make.  Never be afraid to admit a mistake.  

The hardest thing for me to realize and admit is that I played a role in building my wall.

And the most exciting thing for me to do is play a role in tearing it down!

We have to take part in the bitter, painful, soul racking moments in life, in order to feel the exquisite joy, peace, and hope that comes after.  We have to be humble, and prayerful, in order to see God's hand in our life in that very moment, and all other moments before then.   It is a harrowing experience, yet at the same time a sacred experience.  Becoming acutely aware that  Heavenly Father is an integral part of our lives is a humbling experience.

Talk it out, you need someone who will let you talk, and they just listen.   There are many people out there that want to solve all your problems, but really you are the only one who can do it for yourself.

When advice is given, take time to sort through it, and utilize what you can, and throw the rest away.  Sometimes advice is hard to take because it means we have to admit our own weaknesses.  Remember that those weaknesses will become strengths when we accept and recognize that we have them.

Pray.  If you don't, then start.   I know there is a God, and prayer is our opportunity to commune with Him, plead with Him, and ask for help.  He will answer our prayers, and guide us, if we listen and act in patience.

Serve.  It seems silly that at a time in your life when you feel the need to focus solely on you to serve, but you need to serve.   We are all in this together, and service is the most freeing form of recovery I know.   When we forget our troubles for a moment, and focus on someone else, our troubles seem lighter, we give ourselves time to catch our breaths, and we allow God to work in our lives, while He uses us to work in others.


I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted, I feel the wall coming down.  I see the road ahead,  and I look forward to following it!   I have so much to learn, yet I am so excited to learn it!   I feel so blessed to learn and discover what I have, and to have the opportunity to change, grow, and move forward once more!!

So stay tuned!   I feel like this might actually be the time!!  I have faith I will overcome!