Surgery it is

Monday Morning I go in for an excisional biopsy to remove the lump and some surrounding tissue. I was telling my husband, the only reason I was truly nervous is because the feelings I have had in my heart, as far as the steps that needed to be taken, are coming to past. And I am facing my fears in one way or another. Has this process been scary? I would be a liar to say it hasn't. Although I choose not to feed the fear, but rather trust in HOPE.

I know I have a loving Heavenly Father who is watching over me. Guiding my steps, helping through the process, and blessing me (much through the many prayers from others on my behalf) with strength. I have learned that there is a real power in prayer. I have felt the wonderful comfort and strength that comes to help carry the burden. I do not doubt its reality. I know that you are praying for me. I have been blessed because of those prayers. So thank you.

I am not superhuman, or built with an insurmountable surge of strength. I do hide a lot of my emotion, because it is personal and I am protective of it. Mostly because it is in those tender quiet moments, of prayer and supplication, that my testimony of God has been strengthened. My relationship with God has become deeper, stronger. I have learned in a small way what it means to "become like a child." And as difficult, unnerving, unpredictable this whole trial has been, it has been a cherished growing experience.

My perspective has changed a little, and I am so grateful for that. I love my children more, I love my husband more, my family more. I am more grateful for the things I have, for the blessings I have received. I have lived an abundant life, and I know that it can continue that way. I recognize more the small heart warming moments, where the Spirit softly speaks to me and teaches me, or opens my eyes to more blessings I have received. I recognize and see that the example and teachings I share with my children are being used, tested, and loved. I have learned, and seen how Heavenly Father is blessing me to achieve the desires of my heart.

So even though it may be hard to believe, I am not fearful. Whatever will be will be. I am overwhelmed with peace, love, gratitude, and happiness. And each step I take solidifies the fact that I know GOD lives, and He loves me.