A New Discovery!

The other day I was frustrated thinking, "I must be something else. Here I have told people my goal, and hopes and look at me, haven't accomplished it. Failure."

You know how you struggle with something and think that you should be able to easily overcome it. I mean you have seen other people do it, you should be able to also. I often think to myself that I am letting myself down, that I must not care deeply enough, or it doesn't matter enough for me to change. But I think I am wrong.

Change, improving, striving for something better is something we all do everyday. Some things we improve quickly and others take more time. I was reading this talk by Jeffery R. Holland, who is an apostle for the LDS church and I loved what he said:

"... the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them."

It was a sentence of many that I needed to read. Here I was thinking I needed to be more than the struggle, when in reality it is the struggle that is making me more.

I am becoming more because I am discovering how much the Savior Jesus Christ truly does love me, and know me. It truly is only Him that knows what I am capable of, that knows my heart, my potential, my eternity. When I trust Him, I see me.

So why am I wanting to do this?

Because I want to run and not be weary.

I want the mask I wear to be removed.

I want to share me, the real me.

I want to show that there is always hope amidst a difficult trial.

I want to see my own potential.

I want to reward myself by completing the challenge.

I want to love and be loved.

I want to hope when it seems dark.

I want to find a little more happiness.

I want to break free from the bondage.

I want to be an example to my daughters, not in appearance but rather in,

not giving up, staying the course, and holding strong.

You see my struggle is deep, and I am not shallow. I am aware of my weaknesses, keenly aware. I know that I will succeed. If it so be soon or a lifetime away, I am okay because I know that through it all I am working my way out of the cocoon and soon I will be free.

I have posted the link to the article, it is well worth the read. I think it is one of the many that I will always treasure.

LDS.org - Ensign Article - “An High Priest of Good Things to Come”